I Want Chocolates!!!

When I came home bruised, loser of a baseball game, have cuts during my Basic Home Economics class, feeling ill about losing my favorite toy, upset about a friend who never share his sandwich during recess, worried about the glass I have broken this morning, guilty of wrong moves I have done the whole day, got a failing grade from a long test, embarrassed with question I failed to answer during the class recitation, shaking and losing confidence over the declamation competition --- these are the things that I consider failures and pungent jiffy during my childhood days…And with those bitter times, there is always one thought that is all ready enclosed in my mind “I WANT CHOCOLATES!”

What’s with chocolates that made me feel fine is something that is a bit misty for me until now. Every time I feel that I want to run with tears or I am scared of the unknown, I crave to have beside me a chocolate chip, chocolate bar or chocolate drink. (I actually bought three packs of chocolate chips, chocolate cookies and chocolate drink before I stepped into the NB2 for the Editorial Board Qualifying Exam a couple of weeks ago.)

A bite of chocolate seems to be the first aid for my crushed trust, a healer for my stained hopes and a companion to lighten my disappointments. It is pretty obvious, I really like chocolates…

But come to think of it, is it really chocolates that made me feel well?

I just realized just now, that what I really want during the bitter and failing moments of my life is not really chocolates but SOLUTION. As a child, psychologically speaking, I visualize chocolates as something that has the ability to comfort and provide me even with a squat flash of relief. But with a deep introspection I have done (while trying to sink in with the fact that I will be the new Editor-in-Chief of this publication), I understand the connection of my childhood and my maturity period. The reality is “It is not chocolate that I crave to have, it is the feeling of being relieved with apt changes” – changes of the bitter moods, changes of the bitter tastes, changes of the usual traps that surround me, changes of the vague future that trying to blur the vision of every “I” in this university. Today, I become conscious that it is not chocolates that will satiate my thirst of relief but SOLUTIONS equipped with ACTIONS.

Yes, I am no longer a kid on the street playing patintero over my destiny or hide-and-seek of truth and falsehood. I am a grown up now, and I want reform against the silly games those villains had taught me. I am no longer a cry-type little girl that would stop having tantrums by those false candies being offered by gangsters and bullies… I am grown up and I want changes (more than my longing of having another chocolate bar).

With this realization, I would not anymore offer anyone as well as my fellow students with chocolates--- but instead, I would like them to have wisdom and freedom to fight for what is right and due to everyone. I am all ready tired and used in playing pitik bulag and takip silim…TODAY, we shall start living with our eyes wide open. We shall start seeing things in black and white, we shall start playing FAIRLY ENOUGH, MAN ENOUGH.

We want changes, we want solutions, we want progress, and we shall start building it in CURSOR and in our college! Care to join? Then we need disciplined volunteers, and you are IN!